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Showing posts from September, 2010

Link

I'm going to post a link to this too, it's on facebook but I want to archive it with my other writing. It's also something I like to be reminded of. Facebook Note - Inspired by the line "run over by God" - an allegory of sorts

Weekend Musings

Yesterday I got rear-ended. I could be melodramatic and say it was a scary experience (it kind of was) or brush it off and say that it was no big deal (which is also kind of true). In actuality the experience left me with a lot to think about. I was on my way from a Bible conference on evangelism to a Christian Muslim Forum with my brother Mark and some friends. I was driving my Dad's car, Alyssa B was driving a vanload, and Aaron L was also driving a small car. We were on the Q-- (highway) and traffic slowed quickly, I had to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting the guy in front of me. Rick said/yelled something about the shoulder, but by the time I processed that I only had time to clue in THE CAR BEHIND ME! and glance in the rear-view mirror to see Alyssa's van, know what was about to happen, too late to do anything about it. You know those moments where time seems to slow. When I look back on it, I am a little amazed, and a little confused at what was running throu

seasons of the spirit

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blustery rainstorms sticky mud turned lush green overnight we have been reborn promise, promise, promise buds and shoots from death I remember new life is a miracle. the air is heavy with sunshine we are thirsty buds became blossoms blossoms wither the earth swells with fruitfulness I remember there is joy in the harvest. there's a chill in the air nipping my nose and lungs blood on the leaves as they fall in their wind-whipped dance I remember sometimes death is beautiful. in the stillness of the ice blindingly blanketed life is hidden earth stands still I remember we are waiting image from http://mariusp.deviantart.com/art/Four-Seasons-35993741

hate

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Sometimes I know how to hate. Sometimes I wish I was an archer with the arrows of light. Sometimes I see a little bit of Satan's true colors, that's when it happens. Sometimes I see it when the sin in me has deeply wounded someone I love dearly then I hate . Sometimes I see it when evil men rob someone I love of what little pretense of hope she had left. Then I hate . When I cry tears of rage for the "babies underneath their beds" When I long to take the place of someone who has no hope to go through her pain and loss and trauma for her because my Hope & Comfort would get me through, in the end she has nothing That is when I hate . When I cry "what fools we were to choose this path!" thorns and thistles death and heartache. That is when I truly begin to understand what an illogical glorious breath-taking thing the Cross is. And my heart gives a great leap

Inspired by Dangerous Journey

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"Today I met a traveler and something something was different about him. You see this burden on my back You've got one I've got one all our friends have one He didn't. He was carrying a cross instead. I'm not sure which looks easier but it was different. I asked him Who are you? and why are you carrying that? and how come you don't have a burden like me? He looked at me and there was light in his eyes. He said Friend, I used to have a burden but now I'm on the Way of the Ransomed some call it the Way of the Free the Narrow Path My burden rolled off as soon as I began my journey. I said Your cross looks heavy. He said It is but I have been given strength to match it's weight. When I watched him go his feet hardly touched the ground. I'm not sure but I think I might like to exchange my burden for a cross to walk that Way if I could have that light in my eyes. He told me to go to the cross He said that burdens are loosed there and slaves go free. Will

.....

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my arms feel awfully empty am I not needed anywhere? the wiggly bodies the eager arms the sweaty little hands that used to fill my heart and prayers they're gone there's a hollow ache in my chest are there others to love? show me other souls to embrace right now I feel awfully empty I'm glad Your arms are around and under me

Matthew 9:37-38

Jaymie was only six years old last February. But she thought about being grown up a lot. When she watched Grandma, she thought being grown up was lots of aching and forgetting what happened last night. When she hugged Mama she thought being grown up was being trembly and staring blankly into nowhere in particular. When she listened to Auntie, who wasn’t even all the way grown up yet, she thought it was when your voice gets hard. When Roger came and she squeezed behind the stained brown sofa so that he wouldn’t notice her she thought being grown up was having greasy hands and slurry words. And when there were too many grownups and there was loud hollow laughter and shouting and crashes, she pulled her closet door tightly shut, and crawled back, back, back until her stiff little back pressed against the back wall. Then she shivered in the dark and tried not to listen. Times like that she didn’t ever want to grow up. Times like that she squeezed her eyes shut and th

motherhood

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Little faces everywhere dimpled cheeks and elbows sparkling eyes joyfully uncoordinated limbs wispy curls "Daddy, come!" giggles earnest explanations of new adventures excited shrieks "Look Mommy! Look Mommy!" none of them mine to hold to teach to love to care for I am young, I know still I cannot help but watch I feel very sharply the beauty the right-ness of it I yearn for it but it is not mine. My thoughts turn to other little faces some with hollow cheeks and bony arms all with eyes too old for their faces they do not trust they long to love "child" in name only oh, to restore what they have never known! Maybe one of these is mine

To be a Woman

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created for Him made beautiful by Him the heart of a home strength and honor clothe her love, kindness and wisdom flow gently from her lips the ageless beauty of a quiet spirit she is not naive yet she is not afraid of any terror she shall rejoice in time to come see, her trust-roots are deep in the Rock in the Living Water She knows she is in His hands His strength is made perfect in her weakness she is confident in her Redeemer she loves sacrificially she does not tear down she is a supporter and strengthener she knows Whose she is He calls her precious Proverbs 31, Psalm 1, John 4, 1 Peter 3

Thank You, God

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...For tea, for peace, for candy, for numbing waves, for hope for belly laughs and late night confessions for mingled tears and for wildflowers for fairy tales and childhood memories for shared victories and shared losses for giddy moments and earnests longing for holiness for aged wisdom and childish affection for iridescent bubbles. Doubly united in blood once by Dutch "Luimes" blood once by the blood of the Lamb Thank You for ten minute hugs for ridiculous disses and totally sweet compliments for a home filled with prayer. For dishes and volleyball and the grace of God. Thank You, God, for my family. It is a promise of things to come.

Trio

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Service thankfully laying down gratefulness in action what happens when joy is alive the fruit of the Spirit to live to glorify Him Freedom knowing the Truth peace inside of a butterfly living His power bound to righteousness slaves of joy Joy dancing alone in a thundershower between the doorposts of the rainbow one step further

I know that my Redeemer lives

I know that my Redeemer lives even when I don't understand the way He is working. I know that my Redeemer lives even if I don't know what to do with the path He gives me to walk. I know that my Redeemer lives even when I don't know why I live. I know that my Redeemer lives even when I don't know why He loves me.

Handiwork

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The stars speak comfort to me cut me down to size a little say "who are you? What are your problems? Look behold the Creator was, is, is to come He never sleeps He never faints never blinks or ignores There is so much more to this story than you yet He calls you precious."

My Desire

To lay aside weights To find no satisfaction in anything except for Christ To run with eyes fixed unblinkingly on the Goal To boast only in the cross To rejoice with inexpressible joy when everything is torn away All to Jesus, I surrender all

Are you willing

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to be as the scum of the earth so that others may know what it is to be clean? Are you willing to be wounded so that others may know healing? That is what it is to follow Christ's example! “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Matthew 16:24

I have not

sweat blood I have not felt the fires of hell I never will Because He has for me I love Him

...

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Quench my thirst so I'll know what it is to want fill me up so I'll know what it is to have an appetite You make me hungry I thirst for You I'm satisfied in knowing the best is yet to come.

Father

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I will follow wherever You lead whether or not it's practical whatever others think of it no matter how scary or hard or sad. Your plan is what I want, not mine. Please remind me of that! I am Yours. Amen

Hands

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big hands small hands puffy hands gnarled hands thin hands bony hands soft hands sweaty hands chilly hands shaky hands gentle hands warm hands

Starry Night

In the luminescence of the pale blue snow breath fogs my vision and crunchy footsteps break the stillness inhabited only by star-voices if you aren’t listening for their chorus you’ll miss it altogether