awaken me softly

"I charge you, O daughters... do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." -Song of Songs

I am young and I sleep
resting in my Father's arms
a garden enclosed
a lily among thorns
the secrets of my heart
and the song I sing
are still unshared,
still only for my King

Awaken me slow
oh, waken me softly
be gentle in persuading
if you're winning my heart

if I call you beloved,
will you call me sister first
if I let you in,
I know that it will hurt
I'm scared and I am stubborn
but I'm drawn to your gaze
this could be a holy fire
I want to know, can you be wise?

Awaken me slow
oh, waken me softly
be gentle in persuading
if you're winning my heart



the harvest-remains
are tilled under
and I find myself wondering,
when did the summer night-noises hush their conversation?
The soil feels barren in my fingers
the warmth of life isn't there anymore
and the chill in my lungs
rests there in my palm, too
yet the moonlit furrows stretch far
beyond my view
and I know this time of waiting
is beautiful too.
The stars above, masked by transparent cloud
they are the same
and so is the Sower, the Potter.
There is weeping in my heart
when the Master plows deep
when He clears the fields
but as I sit here, hands and knees feel the earth
and I know springtime, harvest and daylight
will come
in His good time.

Sow for yourselves righteousness; Reap in mercy; Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD, till He comes and rains righteousness on you. -Hosea 10:12

He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
-Psalm 126:6



Melany, I watched the ABC 20/20 documentary. Here are my thoughts. If I mixed up details about the story it's because I watched it all once and then couldn't find it back again =) Yay for living in Canada where American broadcasts disappear because of copyright issues!

What does ABC News know of the ache in your eyes
cameras roll as tears slip down
you tell the world that your Indian name, Stands Against The Wind,
means that you are forever strong
that you will never hang yourself in the closet again because your brother found you
you say you are strong but I know
I know in my heart it means hard
I watch through the television lens
as feathers and beads spin, dancing with a little girl's giggle
and my heart, well, I can feel physical pain even writing this
oh, my little ones... It's hard and it hurts to remember their giggles
it still hurts
the boy who tells us
he wants to be the first Native American President
and his cousin displays burn scars from a parent who was high
my own tears in sync with the sound
of the ambitious one sobbing
up on the hill trying to escape the wounds of a drunken mother's words
ABC, they want to fix the problem with money, education
do they see that hard, tired ache in his eyes
oh I recognize it
I've seen it in the mirror
seen it in the mirror
But I can't stay there
I don't want to live that way
If I want to live with my eyes wide open, and I do!
I know my heart will break, again and again
but the colors are so vivid in this vale of tears
when my eyes are on the Artist
and I want to live joy and thanks
to feel thanksgiving slow the moments
to taste and see and savor
that God is good
and He is!
and I have.
through separations and unanswered prayers
as I struggle desperately to love again,
to surrender fear
scared that it I open myself up to love these new little ones unreservedly
they too will be snatched away
angry that they have hope and my little ones do not
wishing more than anything that I could make healing happen
scared of being here always
scared of being alone
scared of letting anyone in
oh what weakness, what need
but grace is given and in this glorious somehow
I let go
surrender is to cease resistance
and to trust the Potter's hand
and there are flashes of understanding
but mostly I just feel the joy-song of these moments
in stained glass sunlight, soul-bread, dark baby eyes, arguments, piano keys, tea and teardrop rainfall
I feel Your love
oh You are hope for the nations
healing for me
I see Your hands
and though I cannot see my future, I know it's in them
so there's a smile in my heart
and a song in my soul

Top three photos from ABC News, courtesy of Google =)


The wisdom of a child

I am always a little caught off guard by the way kids think.

Where and why does a kindergartener authoritatively tell me that brown makes blue? What does that even mean?

And how does a kindergartener's mind take "Mrs. Ghelani" and turn it into "Mrs. Goliath"?

It makes me happy to hear the same little boy always call any type of food "'licious" (e.g., while piling a toy train high with plastic food, "Miss Luimes, see all the 'licious in there!")

And when another little boy painstakingly ('pain' is no exaggeration!) finishes coloring a picture of Jesus walking on water, then asks me how to spell 'Jesus', and I am expecting him to expound on the story of Jesus walking on the water, why am I so surprised to hear him announce "because Jesus built the ark"?

Because, well kids will be kids. Delightfully confused and wonderful.

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Sometimes I am melodramatic... Bear with me. My favorite thing is finding hope in hard places. If you enjoyed something (or not) I would love to hear from you! You can make me very happy by leaving a comment :)


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