you had to be there



how can I explain this
so that you understand
how it picked up my world and spun it dizzy
til, now, I see everything differently?
how can I reduce
to a mere few words
something that still keeps me up nights
lately the tears are so close to the surface
and the weirdest things will break the dam
it won't make sense to tell you
that I still keep thinking of the
vodka bottle in the middle of the road
why I want to learn to dance well
how much I miss the 
warm fuzzy-headed weight on my chest?
words fall so flat
if I tell you what I saw and heard
you might be shocked, 
might say
"how awful!"
and you'd be right
(though you probably won't feel it the way we did)
but 
that's not the point.


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