moon fog

sometimes it's all blurry

like the moon tonight

warm and sleepy and yet there's restlessness and hunger

to know this is not really home

and that means THANK YOU

thank You that I get to be where I am

wading in the messiness of human hearts and many mistakes and

the fathomless depths of Your Words
stars spoken in a treasure chest with beat-up leather covers.  

it's so not the neat and tidy I am comfortable with

but somehow I love that

because You're rearranging my heart

and there is no good symphony built of resolved chords

and the best music is the beautiful tension,
You transforming dark chaos into the light of hope

and in these moments of 

sweat and elbow grease,

blood and baby skin 

empty arms and full, full hearts

somehow even the ache can be beautiful

because even though I will always mourn my little ones

and all the loved ones too far to touch

my heart continues to swell and stretch, 

and I never knew I could carry so many souls inside my story

washed by the sparkling salty water we spill together

wrapped in the hugs that sometimes are all we have to offer

and the sighs

but laughter

will

come

sure as the rising Sun.