point of view

wild rose in the churchyard watermelon, salty sandy sunscreen engine oil dandelion-rid soil dark roast coffee and open-window green grass clippings imagesource

I feel like my creative juices have been depleted after a spring semester of exhaustion.   But I am trying to rest, and trying to take time to reflect and be still.  This is a product of that effort... it's the smell of damp, it's rattling dormancy crumbling velvet, under your fingernails a little sloshing of faith the anticipatory wait just a little poke,  and it's verdant life and growth sprung out of deadness here come the light-seekers. image source

fuzzy sentences mucky brain cells all I want to do is drink tea and stare at the candles on the table formulated thoughts are as far from my grasp as spontaneous space travel ah the life of the student pondering concepts that ought to be concise and captivating but I'm actually out on the ocean warm scent of salt victorious gulls breeze-whipped hair ok but this introduction is pathetic so I'll backspace until I'm gone to the somewhere where the green is rich and deep blossom-speckled shady moss quietly ringing brook-song ticklish cushioned forest floor Focus, focus, read the words again, fourth time through the paragraph except somewhere it's warm enough to sit without shivering in the grasses while the stars dance in and out of the thundercloud as it rolls in sorry, you lost me what? image source

treetop moon bursting through flurried kitchen concoctions ruffled thudding on my window we're restless, you and i. let's pretend to be poets, snobbish and elusive truth is, we don't know what to do with ourselves hungry for summer for release but today is a gem whether we know it or not. image from justcalendar.org

moment by moment singing God's faithfulness at a dear cousin's wedding Dad on sabbatical and how he slows, smiles more, trusting My sister meeting a special young man, and how he slips into the ebb and flow of family learning to love and care for people, learning to change road trips to see, gospel breaking in, breaking through Mark off to university, stretching, reveling in this new stage of life births and weddings, joy upon joy a death that hit close to home, reminding us where home really is frustration and exhaustion to teach me dependence surprising joy when I least expected it. Every day, the struggle to live thankfully, one step at a time. I am blessed. I am held.

cloud to sun to cloud to sun the smell of sunscreen tanktops and dirt under my nails robin singing so loud I hear it from inside my car at a stoplight sudden downpours, thunderstorms even rubber boots counting down to the last day of school June's first buttercups it's coming.

sprays of petals the whir and hum of feathered wings field-puddles and plowed furrows sun-warmed soil and baby leaves the way the daffodils are all opening in pairs suddenly yellow is my new favorite color I want rain I want roses I want redemption change. It is good, and it is promised. I think my soul will always be something of a bride  when it is Spring.

the April sky sheds mother-tears over the cold dead earth each year her prayers are answered and the ground brings forth life as it has for centuries I'm learning to breathe again to marvel at the sunlight I'm learning to pray again enraptured by the flight of a bird I'm learning to laugh, to sing caught up in the wonder of little girl curls I'm learning to cry again and the rain soaks into my soul the wind turns soft as buds unfold the snow fades away the earth wakes once more the old, old story retold.

that moment when my eyes are opened to the transformation of sunshine my ears unplugged to hear the riotous, yet gentle rejoicing of the birds my skin feels the tug of the warm wind of spring and my heart says teach me teach me to praise like these

sleepy white butterflies drifting to rest snowflakes are like peace blanket me with your protection soak into my heart, beautiful mystery

in the craziness of malls at 10 last-minute shopping and a dozen different recordings of the same song played within an inch of it's life when there are obese white-haired men in red suits everywhere Don't forget when the red and green appear everywhere it's only because of the blood that there is any life when you hear "peace on earth, goodwill to men" don't forget that peace is only found in one place and goodwill is not money When you're driving through snow squalls for the last gift Remember, you've been given redemption Worth more than all the money North America spent this December Which means we are the only ones who can sing about joy and know what we're talking about And when you're surrounded by light and warmth don't forget, the light of the world stepped down into your darkness so you could understand what it all means.

blustery rainstorms sticky mud turned lush green overnight we have been reborn promise, promise, promise buds and shoots from death I remember new life is a miracle. the air is heavy with sunshine we are thirsty buds became blossoms blossoms wither the earth swells with fruitfulness I remember there is joy in the harvest. there's a chill in the air nipping my nose and lungs blood on the leaves as they fall in their wind-whipped dance I remember sometimes death is beautiful. in the stillness of the ice blindingly blanketed life is hidden earth stands still I remember we are waiting image from http://mariusp.deviantart.com/art/Four-Seasons-35993741

In the luminescence of the pale blue snow breath fogs my vision and crunchy footsteps break the stillness inhabited only by star-voices if you aren’t listening for their chorus you’ll miss it altogether