point of view

This year I missed Canadian Thanksgiving but celebrated American thanksgiving with friends today.  I don't know if that means I'm acclimatizing or what.  Actually, I was just told by one of my Canadian cousins that I'm developing an accent =) This was a bit of perspective that helped me today.   As I give thanks for God's admonitions that are for my good  because He loves me, I thought it would be a good idea to reflect on some of the things I have had to be thankful for recently. 3898.  "The Old Rugged Cross" and the unique way singing harmony allows you to simultaneously listen and agree. 3902.  Bubbles over the street 3938.  Apologies 3952.  Roommate laughter 3968.  Instagram squeals from the niece 3975.  Waking to the sound of rain 3979.  Irrepressible birdsong 4076.  Another free trial version of Photoshop 4086.  Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow 4095.  Stocking pigs and a...

stark velvet chill bits of icy illumination surround the contented moon ahead of me the horizon blushes faintly rainbowing the blue-black quiet the light is certainly coming, but the anticipation drags on there's a ray of promise, I think it builds a swell of glow the sky-blind is lifted and like a holy unveiling, a sacred disrobing, the brilliance overtakes us after the shy of it did you expect it to be this warm, this blinding?

it's a strange state we're in that's for sure you can't be strong unless you know you're weak won't feel held til you've tasted the lonely ache must be broken down if you want to be made whole can't be blinded by brightness without being encompassed by the dark you can't love without hurting, fearing, bleeding, weeping oh friend, push on for the prize

Technically speaking my birthday has just ended.  I suppose I should be in bed but it's that time of night and of course I'm waxing eloquent and ignoring my need for beauty rest... I just wanted to nail down a few things that stand out from my year of being 24.  (Because I know when I am finished being 25 I'll get nostalgic and go looking for birthday blog posts .) I've had dark years.  Years that were marked by what one of my professors/coworkers calls the "dark night of the soul."  I don't know that I would say that 24 was dark.  But I think I have been learning how to grieve this year.  More than ever before I have seen my own weakness, my own limitations, my own fallenness and the lack and brokenness of the world around me.  And in many little ways I've been forced to give up the notion that I can do  enough to reverse these things.  Oh, what precious grace that has driven me to cry out to the Lord more than I ever have before!  I...

holy fire, overwhelm the whens when I hate everything that hurts when I adore my ease and comfort when I couldn't care less when everything seems tantamount except Yahweh holy fire, insert the untils until I love You fully until topsy-turvy is set right side up until I take another step in the right direction until the Day dawns holy fire, please bring the finallys finally You will come again finally my rebelliousness will be silenced finally the darkness will leave no trace finally our eyes will be opened holy fire that's burning away til God and man stand face to face image source

I feel like my creative juices have been depleted after a spring semester of exhaustion.   But I am trying to rest, and trying to take time to reflect and be still.  This is a product of that effort... it's the smell of damp, it's rattling dormancy crumbling velvet, under your fingernails a little sloshing of faith the anticipatory wait just a little poke,  and it's verdant life and growth sprung out of deadness here come the light-seekers. image source

insufficient that's it insufficient for the tasks at hand but they must be done even though the clock ticks a time-warp don't we wish  we could do them well ?   but sometimes it's all we can do to strive for  done when it comes to hearts when I think of the flash in your veiled eyes  your hesitating words I feel as though I must  do well because how could I dare to hurt you with carelessness? insufficient simply insufficient very insufficient yet the full plate is a gift from a Master Chef He wants me to enjoy He wants me to live and so all I can do is plow on if I act in worship out of love the failure holes in my pot will merely serve as  light-diffusers and together we will see. image source

fuzzy sentences mucky brain cells all I want to do is drink tea and stare at the candles on the table formulated thoughts are as far from my grasp as spontaneous space travel ah the life of the student pondering concepts that ought to be concise and captivating but I'm actually out on the ocean warm scent of salt victorious gulls breeze-whipped hair ok but this introduction is pathetic so I'll backspace until I'm gone to the somewhere where the green is rich and deep blossom-speckled shady moss quietly ringing brook-song ticklish cushioned forest floor Focus, focus, read the words again, fourth time through the paragraph except somewhere it's warm enough to sit without shivering in the grasses while the stars dance in and out of the thundercloud as it rolls in sorry, you lost me what? image source

I'm sure most of us have heard it at one point or another.  You're talking to someone who loves you dearly and is trying to comfort you after a plan or dream has fallen through.  You are disappointed, and they say, "God has something so much better in store for you!"  They are right, but somehow it's not comforting.  You might have wanted to say, "I don't CARE!  I don't want a better plan, I want this one!"  Sometimes God's sovereignty can feel like a cruel joke.  Certainly it's more comforting to know that an awful struggle is a gift from a loving God, rather than an uncontrolled catastrophe with the power to destroy us, but still I find myself looking in confusion to my Father and in my hurt crying out, "Really?  Why this?"  In times like this it can be easy to become angry with God for not letting us have it our way. A few evenings ago I was with two friends and the conversation turned to the past year, of the t...