point of view

just for something different, let me tell you which books are sitting on my shelf. first off, I just finished be still my soul - elisabeth elliott I enjoy elisabeth elliott, especially when I'm stressing out about life.  I don't agree with her on everything but this book has been good for me.  sometimes I read it when my brain is doing the too-much-spinning-to-sleep thing.  she has a whole chapter on waiting, which I enjoyed very much.  if you read her book about her & jim elliott's romance - "passion & purity" - you will see that waiting was a big part of her life.  the wisdom she shares is very helpful. john ploughman's talks - c. h. spurgeon partway through this one.  I LOVE spurgeon.  this is an easier read compared to some of his others because he specifically avoided theological jargon for this book and spoke in layman's terms, which leads to some interesting figures of speech.  for example this:  Nobody is more like an h...

you, reeking of some smoke  I am too naive to be able to identify when you say you write poetry I know I can't ignore you anymore and it grates wrong when we all sit silent and you go back to the door I'm relieved when someone has a gift card for food and you are persuaded to take it you scrawl on the booklet of poetry before you hand it over and then ask if you can recite another and as I am leaving, one more and it catches me, turns me back "the shadowlands" because life is offered and you seem to want it but you fade away,  trapped in your mists of shadow

Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.                                                                   G.K. Chesterton

...of color, blessings, love, pain, longing, hope, joy, gifts 1255.  Korean birthday cake 1271. When my car stereo actually works 1287. Little boys under the table 1289.  Choruses of "I love you"s 1298.  How our family always asks how things went 1301.  Grocery store guys giving away carnations 1303.  Laughing babies on youtube.com 1316.  Learning about holy anxiety 1322. An acapella song on a sunny street corner 1332. Stargazing on the driveway 1334. Coyote choruses 1343. Names for special colors, like "verdigris" 1371. Two students discussing another student with a cramp in her leg... "I thought you said Keleese had a CRACK in her leg."  "No, not a crack, it's a CRAP." 1390. Dad making me coffee 1397.  Being told I look like a mama duck with my line of little ones following 1402.  A 1950's novel for a lazy Saturday morning 1448.  How people I don't even know come up to me and say "I read your a...

" Oh, fear the Lord , you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing." Psalm 34:9-10 What does it mean that I, a God-seeker by grace, shall not lack any good thing? It does not merely mean that once I reach heaven I will be given every good thing,  though I do believe this is true. It does not mean that I will accumulate a large collection of good things  spaced out over the span of my life, with gaps of want and need in-between. I take this to mean that the Author of my story and the Designer of my heart  knows what is good for me and what I am ready for  and gives it to me in the right quantity and at the right time.   Today I have every good thing.   Some of the things I wish for today may be good for another day  but they can not be good for right now or I would already have them. And, some things ...

you know how it is when you feel like you've left part of yourself somewhere? in a place that you loved with people you loved or someone you loved? I've had a little of that going on and it hurts, the tearing away when you leave again and again why, Lord?  I cried I feel so empty losing bits of myself will there be anything left? but a gentle smile in reply my scarred Savior opened my eyes a little to see where I thought I was empty so many little pieces of other people's hearts that they left with me so much richer, this kind of fullness and those pieces of my heart though I thought it was dying like seeds they grow planted in other lives  and He says this is the way He means us to live to love to trust isn't it beautiful?

Because I haven't posted in such a long time, and don't have anything at the moment... Jimmy Needham's "The Reason I Sing"

when the ground dropped away below me when I last gazed on the land I thought I left my heart there and tried to cry quietly in the dim airplane cabin eyes red with internal pain and I watered my pillow with questions in the dark days that followed time does harden the wound but somewhere deep the ache was still festering the questions unanswered it was winter in my soul and my tears dried up sometimes on the grayer, darker days I tried to force a tear thought maybe the sunshine was just a dream and dry wells would be my lot in life but Grace was still pursuing oh, relentless mercy! And while I tried to curl up and suffocate inside myself the Comforter kept shoving things in my face like forgiveness, all bloody-palmed and the dark bottle of those first tears and somehow, sunshine rays of uncertain hope, smiles flashing 'til unwillingly, I had to look to see that my life is an unending string of colorful gifts of proofs that He loves me, tha...

I’ve been pleading for rain for years for lightning, thunder, whirlwinds of power we all conceal a desperate need for healing and we want it NOW. Is this a bad desire? Nope.  Not at all. but lately there’s a lesson that’s been tugging me from my intended course to still and to bring knowledge: God works slow. you see, revival is like the newborn baby’s very first breath the doctors, nurses and parents breathe a sigh of relief Mom & Dad, do they leave the new little life, on to their next thing? Of course not.  A baby is a full-time job.  A baby requires work, pain, money, love, maturity – sacrifice.  And usually life-time commitment.  At least eighteen years or so. Do you know what it means to be involved in conversion?  Discipling and conversion are like fingers and hands. They're useless, separated. Think about it.  What is the Great Commission anyway?  “Go therefore and get everybody to call ...

velvet pansy richness silky oriental fabric violets crushed underfoot purple cabbage sizzling  between  slices of apple starry midnight eyes the sky just beyond the bumpy edge of cloud paint drops on the driveway ink on the page translucent blades of grass cool evergreen shade aged books embossed with gold cucumbers and celery, sliced crisp puddled afternoon sunlight budding daffodils baby curls banana-colored yarn orange peels spraying scented mist the full moon hanging close and heavy waxy crayon dusty lily hearts cherry highlights packed in a bowl lips curved happy row of cool clay pots fallen rose petals and all washed sparkling down with humbled grateful tears

"The Lord Directs Our Path" Psalm 138:8, 139:16, 32:8, 143:8 I stand at the stoplight and the roads are diverging I can't look to the rear-view mirror except in thanks so much to learn yet but my hand is held by the One who carved out the path, the One of unfailing love. You know where we're going and You're excited in all Your Power, Majesty, Splendor, Holiness excited like a husband with a surprise. "Worship the Lord" Psalm 95:3-7, 99:5, 138:2-3 Everest's summit the Mariana Trench they belong to You on Your shelf, in Your livingroom like a potter at his wheel You shaped the Grand Canyon the deserts, the plateaus, all the rock formations of the earth You wove out the saves their ever-changing layers on Your loom and shook the fish, the algae, the whales all the sea creatures into the oceans like salt and pepper from their shakers and somehow, somehow in billions of voices You hear this rebellious sheep trapped,...

cloud to sun to cloud to sun the smell of sunscreen tanktops and dirt under my nails robin singing so loud I hear it from inside my car at a stoplight sudden downpours, thunderstorms even rubber boots counting down to the last day of school June's first buttercups it's coming.

sermon notes from I Kings 18:41-46 and on no cloud in the sky "the sound of rain" he says promise God's Word is surety don't doubt, child don't doubt I hear it really I do! God's sovereignty shouting at us Do we know  what God promises? Did Elijah think God promised rain AND Jezebel to stop persecuting him? Is that how I think too? God's name glorified AND a great husband? AND no loss of work? AND holy, affectionate kids? AND an always peaceful church? hmmmm... Elijah thinks persevering intercession is important. I wonder, would I keep praying after the fifth "there is nothing"? the crowd is gone he's gone back up the mountain. he seeks God after the blessing after the urgent sense of need no resting on laurels. Believing, he presses forward into the impossible he leaves his distractions head between his knees Elijah is no radio pastor trying to quickly churn out one million copies...

sprays of petals the whir and hum of feathered wings field-puddles and plowed furrows sun-warmed soil and baby leaves the way the daffodils are all opening in pairs suddenly yellow is my new favorite color I want rain I want roses I want redemption change. It is good, and it is promised. I think my soul will always be something of a bride  when it is Spring.

I haven't posted in quite a while! Most of my writing energies have been going into response papers and vignettes and case study analysis at the moment, which is great. This will not last forever though. In the meantime, here is something for when you need some stilling....

the Creator says "speak" and for a moment the breath catches my lungs, as it were, frozen afraid I'm afraid all that will come out will be a squeak how could dirty flesh and blood speak holy cry out fire and glory? paralyzed but there is a coal in the angel's hand blood red and praise cannot be restrained

Listen to Me, you stubborn-hearted I will carry you. Be still and hear, you rebellious I love you. Though you stumble in the dark lugging your idols around Though you close your eyes and put your fingers in your ears when I am speaking to you Though you hide your pet addictions under the bed and protect your favorite sins like a toddler with candy listen to Me I still love you. I will carry you. I will never leave you or forsake you. I will bring you Home I will pursue you, hedge you in, and guide you always. And I will capture your heart. Who is safe from the power of the Love of a holy God?

Impossible is the roof on what we think can be done but we are told God doesn't fit in the house He is the atmosphere. When the quicksand is sucking or the clay is hardening in on my ribcage the rope around me, pulling me up is from You it happens every time. And when I see, it steals my breath away. I want to run and say in wonder, with outstretched hand like a little child, "Can You be my Papa?" but You already are

Be my boast, Lord I've got nothing without You I've got everything with You The way baby chicks are fragile helpless that's me I need to feel Your cover of protection Then I will peep noisily at the tiger unafraid in the Lion's care "He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler." -Psalm 91:4

Here are a few of the things in my "1000 Gifts" notebook from recently: 696 How quickly a day goes by 698 The glowing smile of a bride 707 New pens 711 A grieving family held close by church 715 Sunday afternoon warmth and stillness 718 A movie date (Courageous!) with my 11-year-old brother 720 A child coming to be comforted 735 Bible stories told the Jewish way 736 Spontaneous detours 743 The sound of driving on gravel 780 A little girl who likes being tied up to trees! =) 785 A raised mailbox flag 803 A friend who finds me when I'm anxious and prays over me 809 Guitar stands on stage 814 Remembering magical stories of sailors and rainbows and blue seas 819 Dutch women outside their comfort zones 828 My Opa's harmonica hymns 829 My Oma's perfume 833 A fellow homeschooler in crowds of schoolteachers 834 A very full church 840 Spurgeon books 851 The grace to laugh at myself 853 A moonlit run 863 Earl Grey Va...

"...You are not your past or your surroundings." -Lecrae Hmmm.