point of view

Technically speaking my birthday has just ended.  I suppose I should be in bed but it's that time of night and of course I'm waxing eloquent and ignoring my need for beauty rest... I just wanted to nail down a few things that stand out from my year of being 24.  (Because I know when I am finished being 25 I'll get nostalgic and go looking for birthday blog posts .) I've had dark years.  Years that were marked by what one of my professors/coworkers calls the "dark night of the soul."  I don't know that I would say that 24 was dark.  But I think I have been learning how to grieve this year.  More than ever before I have seen my own weakness, my own limitations, my own fallenness and the lack and brokenness of the world around me.  And in many little ways I've been forced to give up the notion that I can do  enough to reverse these things.  Oh, what precious grace that has driven me to cry out to the Lord more than I ever have before!  I...

holy fire, overwhelm the whens when I hate everything that hurts when I adore my ease and comfort when I couldn't care less when everything seems tantamount except Yahweh holy fire, insert the untils until I love You fully until topsy-turvy is set right side up until I take another step in the right direction until the Day dawns holy fire, please bring the finallys finally You will come again finally my rebelliousness will be silenced finally the darkness will leave no trace finally our eyes will be opened holy fire that's burning away til God and man stand face to face image source

do you know how unexpected it was that you wanted to hear my story? did you know I was surprised because my stomach hurt from laughing? it took me so off guard when what you offered, gave me answers see, I've gotten used to waiting. did you guess that I'd be close to tears because you said "that makes sense"? did you know you threw me for a loop when you saw that I was down? for some reason it's hard to accept comfort. I guess I'm scared of getting used to it afraid to let myself hope what if I lose it again? ah, but pain is only tangibility the currency of value proof of richness. it'll come even if it's taken yet again it always comes.

The  best recipe :  Indian Tomato Chicken  - a family favorite. And great to make a huge batch of, it seems to improve with reheating. The  best book (s), John Ploughman’s Talks by C.H. Spurgeon and Speaking The Truth in Love by David Powlison. The  best song  that you just couldn't get out of your head?  The Invasion (Hero) The  jeans  that fit best? A random pair given to me by a cousin =) The  best week  of 2012: The  CCEF National Conference . Make a resolution in 2013. Go to  this  one. Even if you are not a counselor. Best habit ? I made a goal to make sure I read, wrote, sang, exercised, invested in a friendship and created something at least once every week. Best holiday ? I think Good Friday. Just because it’s always my favorite. So stripped down, so simple, the heartbeat and climax of History. Best risk  taken - to reach into more of the lives around me.  Goodness, I ...

sermon notes from I Kings 18:41-46 and on no cloud in the sky "the sound of rain" he says promise God's Word is surety don't doubt, child don't doubt I hear it really I do! God's sovereignty shouting at us Do we know  what God promises? Did Elijah think God promised rain AND Jezebel to stop persecuting him? Is that how I think too? God's name glorified AND a great husband? AND no loss of work? AND holy, affectionate kids? AND an always peaceful church? hmmmm... Elijah thinks persevering intercession is important. I wonder, would I keep praying after the fifth "there is nothing"? the crowd is gone he's gone back up the mountain. he seeks God after the blessing after the urgent sense of need no resting on laurels. Believing, he presses forward into the impossible he leaves his distractions head between his knees Elijah is no radio pastor trying to quickly churn out one million copies...

Impossible is the roof on what we think can be done but we are told God doesn't fit in the house He is the atmosphere. When the quicksand is sucking or the clay is hardening in on my ribcage the rope around me, pulling me up is from You it happens every time. And when I see, it steals my breath away. I want to run and say in wonder, with outstretched hand like a little child, "Can You be my Papa?" but You already are

Here are a few of the things in my "1000 Gifts" notebook from recently: 696 How quickly a day goes by 698 The glowing smile of a bride 707 New pens 711 A grieving family held close by church 715 Sunday afternoon warmth and stillness 718 A movie date (Courageous!) with my 11-year-old brother 720 A child coming to be comforted 735 Bible stories told the Jewish way 736 Spontaneous detours 743 The sound of driving on gravel 780 A little girl who likes being tied up to trees! =) 785 A raised mailbox flag 803 A friend who finds me when I'm anxious and prays over me 809 Guitar stands on stage 814 Remembering magical stories of sailors and rainbows and blue seas 819 Dutch women outside their comfort zones 828 My Opa's harmonica hymns 829 My Oma's perfume 833 A fellow homeschooler in crowds of schoolteachers 834 A very full church 840 Spurgeon books 851 The grace to laugh at myself 853 A moonlit run 863 Earl Grey Va...